Birthdays Not Required.
I never was a birthday person. Even as a child, I never enjoyed them. Someone singing “Happy Birthday to you” made me cringe. Receiving gifts made me self-conscious. All the attention and fuss were just too hokey for me.
And I never cared about marking ceremonial milestones. Turning 13, 16, 20. No big deal. I never wanted to be a special age.
I consider myself truly ageless. I just am.
So, it came as no surprise to anyone when decades ago I decided to officially and forever cancel all birthdays. I don't acknowledge them. I don’t celebrate them. I don’t allow my husband, friends or anyone in my family to acknowledge or celebrate them - ever. No cards. No calls. No cakes. No blown-out candles. In fact, at the time I formally nixed them, I was working with a woman who loved birthdays so much I gave her mine. “Here have two.” She was delighted.
I’m sure my feelings have everything to with my mother who at age 40 had a full-face and neck lift – that no one would have ever said she needed. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her celebrity surgeon at the time advised her that this early intervention would keep her Dorian Grey youthful for many years to come. And it did. She remained a “babe” well beyond her advancing birthdays. Now in her nineties and wrestling with Alzheimer’s she is still virtually wrinkle-free.
It appears I have inherited my mother’s penchant for prevention along with her defiance. Although I could never in a million years imagine going under the knife. My “drug de resistance” is Renova (0.05% Tretinoin Cream). I started my addiction to it as a young advertising copywriter working on the Johnson & Johnson account (its manufacturer at the time). I have used it religiously every night ever since. My dermatologist refers to me as the poster child for the prescription. It causes light sensitivity so its use also means - like a vampire - no sun for me – hence smoother skin.
There are definite pros and cons to having no birthdays. The pros: My friends tend to be frozen in time right along with me. Whether they are in their 30s – as many are – or up there in years – having no birthdays is a great equalizer. We are all the same age in my mind. Energetic and alive. Ever-young and Everlusting. Works in progress eager for our next adventure.
The downside: I may miss your special day. I hope you will forgive me if I forget to send a card or call. I am thinking of you. And someday when you should be older – and instead are not - perhaps you’ll thank me – and even join me.
Which brings me to my personal advice. To those who say “It sucks to get old,” I say you can always choose not to.